FRIDAY MOVIE QUOTES!

A few more quotes for you to enjoy....

"We all go a little mad sometimes."
Norman Bates, Psycho (1960)

"Hi, I'm Chucky, wanna play?"
Chucky, Child's Play (1988)

"You bastards! Give me back my hand!"
Ash, Evil Dead II (1987)

SATURDAY MOVIE POSTER MATINEE

FRIDAY MOVIE QUOTES - Yeah, I know it's Saturday.

I know I'm a day late, but I've been busy with pre-production on an upcoming horror flick that I am making. More details to follow in the near future. So...let's get on with the quotes!

"There are far worse things awaiting man than death."
Dracula, Dracula (1931)

"They're coming to get you, Barbara!"
Johnny, Night of the Living Dead (1968)

"Welcome to prime time, bitch."
Freddy Krueger, Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987)

"Darling. Light of my life. I'm not gonna hurt ya. You didn't let me finish my sentence. I said, I'm not gonna hurt ya. I'm just gonna bash your brains in."
Jack Torrance, The Shining (1980)

LEGENDS - Friday the 13th Fan Film

Legends - a Friday the 13th fan film by Godbout Entertainment. I have watched just about every Friday the 13th fan film out there. Some are serious attempts to produced a film that pays homage to the original series, complete with developed characters and original story line. Others range from comedic to just plain silly. Who wouldn't want to create a film of their own using one of horror's most iconic villians? I applaud all of these filmmakers' efforts and look forward to seeing more.

Legends, written and directed by Gerald J. Godbout III, tells the story of Michael, a writer who finds himself suffering from writer's block. His sister and some friends convince him to go camping for the weekend. They hope that some fresh air will do him so good, maybe even inspire him. What starts out as a fun trip soon turns to terror as they discover they are trapped in what they thought was only a movie.

I thoroughly enjoyed watching this film and highly recommend it.

www.godboutentertainment.com/films/legends/legendsfilm.htm

MOVIE QUOTE FRIDAYS!

I have decided to make Fridays movie quote day. Every Friday I will pick some of my favorite horror movie quotes to share with you. With as many horror movies out there, I am not too worried about running out of quotes. So here goes....

"Good, Bad - I'm the guy with the gun!"
Ash, Army of Darkness (1992)

"Welcome to my world, bitch. I should warn you, princess - the first time tends to get a little messy."
Freddy Krueger, Freddy vs. Jason (2003)

"You're going to need a bigger boat"
Chief Brody, Jaws (1975)

DEAD CITY - A must read for zombie fans!

I have always had a love for books. I get it from my late grandmother. As much as I enjoy sitting down and watching a good film, nothing quite compares to time spent reading a well-written book.

A novel that is written well, I believe, should allow the reader to develop cinematic images in their head while reading. Dead City is a fantastically written book. The story vividly developed in my head as if it were projected on a movie screen.

Joe McKinney captures the true essence of what makes a truly good zombie story. I found it quite entertaining and difficult to put this one down; each page pulling me further into the story.

You have all of the usual elements of a zombie tale: plenty of gore, the apocalyptic world, hords of relentless blood-thirsty zombies, and one or more main characters fighting to survive. What makes this book stand out from the flood of zombie novels that have sprung up over the last few years is the depth to which McKinney develops the main character, Eddie Hudson, and his journey throughout the novel.

Just an average, regular guy working as a police officer during the late-night shift, he soon finds himself in a fight for survival as he struggles to make it back to his wife and son. We are introduced to several minor characters during his journey and easily grow to like Eddie and root for him as we read further.

We learn that the Texas Gulf Coast has been battered by five cataclysmic hurricanes in a few short weeks. Thousands are dead or dying. Amid the wreckage, a deadly virus is spreading. The dead are coming back to life with an insatiable hunger for human flesh and within hours the entire state of Texas is at its mercy. Police Officer Eddie Hudson witnesses the destruction of his city as it is overrun by an army of living dead. Along with a small group of survivors, he is determined to fight the undead to make it back to his family. Eddie knows the odds don't look good. He knows he has to find a way to destroy these zombies, to stop the virus...but what price will he have to pay?

McKinney has a talent for spinning an interesting tale and character development. I look forward to reading more from this author.

"When the man I had just beanbagged stood up, turned, and faced me again, I felt my heart sink down into my stomach. People just don't do that." - pg. 21

PLANET TERROR - Entertaining & Hilariously Over-the-Top!

PLANET TERROR - Released 2007
Written & Directed by Robert Rodriguez
Starring Rose McGowan, Freddy Rodriguez, Michael Biehn, Jeff Fahey, Josh Brolin, Marley Shelton.
105 Minutes
www.grindhousemovie.net

Entertaining and hilariously over-the-top! From the opening title sequence with Rose McGowan's sexy dance routine to the end credits, this film kicks some serious ass. I have been a fan of Rodriguez since El Mariachi. His creativity never ceases to amaze me. This film is action-packed, full of slick wit, and serves up gruesome zombies and plenty of gore. Stylistically, Rodriguez has captured the grindhouse feel with perfection. He has created not only some wonderful effects, but a entertaining story with wonderfully developed characters.

Cast of characters include a stripper (who loses her leg early on in the film and has numerous 'useless' talents), her shady mechanic ex-boyfriend, a strong-willed doctor and her secret girlfriend, the local sheriff, and many more. Look for brief appearances by Bruce Willis and Stacy Ferguson. Rodriguez's son, Rebel, plays the roll of Tony Block - the son of the two doctors.

Rodriguez's real-life personal physician, Felix Sabates, plays Dr. Flix and his real estate agent, Skip Reissig, plays the strip-club owner Skip. As always with any of Rodriguez's films, the audio commentary is a must.

An experimental bio-nerve gas is accidentally released at a remote military base. Those exposed to it turn into flesh-eating zombies. Our motley band of survivors must fight to stay alive and to save the world.

Dr. Dakota Block: Hi, Joe. I'm going to give you a very strong anesthetic, so you won't feel anything during the procedure. These are my friends. My yellow friend is just to take the sting off. My blue friend you'll barely feel. That means my yellow friend is already taking effect. See how fast my friends work? And after my red-headed friend, you'll never see me again.

DISTURBANCE 2013 - You may never drink again.

DISTURBANCE 2013 - Released 2006
Written & Directed by Joe Burke
Starring David Fink, Evan Sierminski, Janel Benisch, Lindsey Pruett-Smith, and Rich Januszkiewicz.
13 Minutes
www.elantrafilms.com

"Who's the dead chick in the bathtub?"

Joe Burke wore many hats during the making of this short film. He not only served as the writer and director, but also the director of photography and co-editor. With the advance in technology and given the ease of access to filmmaking equipment, it seems as if everyone thinks they should make a movie. I applaud this as I encourage anyone with an idea to have a go at it. Unfortunately, it is easy to shoot a film, not so easy to tell a good and complete story at the same time.

Burke knows how to tell a story, especially within a short time allotment. His use of sound added to the suspenseful atmosphere and I found his use of the camera interesting and refreshing for a short indie film. His characters quickly came to life and the dialogue flowed naturally. This guy definitely has talent. I can't wait to see what he can do with a feature film.

Three friends discover a mysterious girl's dead body in the bathtub after a night of partying. Who she is and how she got there will ultimately change their lives as the truth unfolds. Burke effectively creates a scary and suspenseful film within the thirteen minutes, which is a task that many aspiring filmmakers fail at when making a short film.

Head over to www.elantrafilms.com and order a copy for just $5.

Howie: She can't come to the phone right now, she's - uh, she's in the bath.

HATCHET - OLD SCHOOL AMERICAN HORROR

HATCHET - Released 2006
Written & Directed by Adam Green
Starring Joel David More, Tamara Feldman, Deon Richmond, Mercedes McNab, Parry Shen, Joleigh Fioreavanti, Joel Murray, Richard Riehle, Patrika Darbo, Joshua Leonard, Tony Todd, Robert Englund and Kane Hodder.
84 Minutes
www.hatchetmovie.com

Writer/Director Adam Green has magnificently created an enjoyable film that is a delicious throwback to the 80s slashers flick. A group of tourists and their guide embark on a midnight ghost tour through the swamps of New Orleans. They soon learn the terrifying tale of local legend Victor Crowley - horribly disfigured and accidentally killed with a hatchet by the hands of his own father. When they become stranded in the middle of the swamp after their boat sinks, they soon discover that the ghost story is more than just local legend.

As any true fan knows, there are three ingredients essential to a truly great 80s slasher flick: over-the-top kills, nudity and overly stereotyped, one-dimensional characters. Green delivers all three in over-the-top fashion. There is no lack of nudity in this film. The Mardi Gras scene could very well be a Girls Gone Wild commercial. Green doesn't stop there. He has written into the script a horny grease ball director-wanna-be escorted by a slutty chick and a ditsy valley blonde, both desiring to become famous actresses, who flash for the camera to add some gratuitous nudity throughout the film.

The characters were very one-sided. In addition to the horny grease ball, the slutty chick and the ditsy valley blonde, Green seems to have included every stereotype in his film. There's the nerdy and insecure guy, the party animal funny guy, the confident female with the "I'll kick your ass" attitude, a retired couple on vacation and a nutty tour guide. Throughout the movie, Green has done his best to give us some rememberable dialogue and lines.

Jenna: By the way? Your "woo" is so not in the moment.
Misty: Yeah? Well, your nipples are dumb.

Ben: We wanted to do a haunted swap tour.
Rev. Zombie: I don't do night tours anymore, I'm not allowed to.
Ben: It's just that our friends told us that you did one here last year.
Rev. Zombie: I can't do night tours anymore. Insurance got too high after what happened.
Marcus: Too bad. Let's roll.
Ben: Wait, wait, what happened?
Rev. Zombie: Oh, you don't want to know.
Ben: [eagerly] I so do.

Rev. Zombie: I had a tour group, out in the swamp, last Halloween. It was the mist of night, and there was this kid, who looked kind of like you, he got spooked by something in the marsh. He saw two eyes staring at him from the woods, it chilled him to his very marrow. He wanted to get off the boat in a hurry, and he had his foot dangling over the edge. He...

Ben: He fell in?
Marcus: A gator got him?
Ben: What happened?
Rev. Zombie: He slipped, hit his head, right on the roof... and sued me for negligence! That cock sucker!
Ben: [disappointed] That's it?

Tony Todd makes a brief cameo appearance as Reverend Zombie and as usual gave an awesome performance. Robert Englund also makes a brief appearance in the opening scene playing Sampson. What can I say about Englund...just his name alone will bring moviegoers out to see a movie. Kane Hodder, who we all know and MISS as Jason, portrays two characters in Green's film: Victor Crowley and Victor's father in flashback scenes. It is good to see Hodder branching out and doing more roles without makeup (even though most of the movie he is again in makeup). Crowley's kills can easily compete with the likes of Jason and Freddy. In fact, Hodder told one interviewer that his favorite kill used to be the "sleeping bag against a tree" scene from Jason X, but now his favorite is when he rips a woman's face in half. (You gotta look for this scene!)

Members of the film crew make brief appearances in the movie. Listen to the audio commentary to learn who they are. Green makes an appearance in the Mardi Gras scene playing one of Ben's buddies. Pay attention and you will notice the names of the producers, Sarah Elbert and Cory Neal, on tombstones during the cemetery scene.

To recap...HATCHET provides over-the-top kills, plenty of nudity to satisfy the male moviegoer, and our favorite stereotypical characters. If you love 80s slasher flicks you're gonna love this film. If I had a rating system...I'd give it ten body bags out of ten!

BEN: Marybeth? That's a great name, because it's, it's actually two names. Most people just have one and that's kinda boring. Like Ben. But Marybeth, that's Mary and it's Beth. That's a nice coat.

WELCOME TO THE TWISTED CRITIC

Welcome to the Twisted Critic. Each week will bring you a new post on some aspect of the horror genre. The primary goal is to provide you with movie reviews of horror films, both studio produced and independent, however, you may want to visit my small corner of the web often as you might discover ramblings on horror fiction, directors, festivals, and any other horror related thoughts that I may have.

You may find it beneficial to remind yourself that reviews are simply opinions and I encourage everyone to watch the movies and develop their own. I will try not to focus on the negatives, but rather look for something interesting in each film. I respect and admire the effort that goes into creating a film, and so I will always try to refrain from hacking at one's creative efforts.

So grab that bag of popcorn, find a comfy place to sit, and turn out the lights. Oh yeah, don't forget to buckle up...it may be a bumpy ride.

Happy Horrors,

The Twisted Critic